A few recent thoughts on celebrities

Alex Reid:
Seriously could this man be any more of an obnoxious bell end? He deffo gets the cunt of the year award. And she's fooling no-one.



Pam anderson:
My admiration for this woman is no secret. If I'm half the milf she is at the age of 40 I would be very happy.


Anna Wintour:
Fair play for putting those annoying little bitches in their place, she should be rewarded.

Paulette Bonafonte:
Ok so she's a fictional character but after watching legally blonde the other day I decided I am totally gonna channel her white trash look.

Lady Gaga:

In this months vogue she claims jesus is her fashion icon because she loves loin cloths. Can we argue with this really?

Susan Boyle:
Living proof that you can polish a turd.

Get ready to cum in your pants

So on one of my endless hours trawling ebay I found this little gem. I think I came when I saw the size of the sleeves, I have a new fetish for having shoulders bigger than my head. Seriously am gonna shit myself with excitement when I see the postman coming towards me with the package containing it.

Ria's VMA rundown.

Every one's talking about it so I thought I'd get my input up in here. I will do it in the form of the text messages sent whilst watching the show last night.

Sent to josh at 21:02- I hate Madonna

received from josh at 21:02- ha ha i think her 80/early 90's persona is pure epic.
received from josh at 21:02- But then I'm a fag. It's probably conditioned.

Sent to josh 21:04- She's talking about MJ. Both over-rated.

Received from josh at 21:04- Anyone who owns a monkey is amazing.

Sent to josh at 21:05- Seriously YouTube her speech self absorbed nonsense

Received from josh at 21:05- I'll do it when I get home. I hate the gym x

Sent to josh at 21:11- Janet Jackson is pure fierce
Sent to josh at 21:20- Katy Perry is shit. Russell Brand is god.
Sent to josh at 21:25- Oh my god Russell brand just made a lady gaga penis remark. I bet they fuck. I wanna join in if they do.

Sent to ash and josh at 21:29: I'm watching the VMA's the she wolf herself is presenting an award. Men shouldn't fear the she wolf. They should be thankful.

Sent to josh at 21:32- I love this kanye west moment. Amazing. What an enormous douche. If i threw an awards ceremony I would invite him. Are you enjoying this commentary?

Sent to josh at 21:34- JLo looks like a bad tranny.

Received from ash at 21:48- Lol (I won't lie- i expected more of an amazing witty response, shame on you ash.)

Sent to ash at 21:49- I'm still in love with gaga's performance it's the fittest thing ever.

Sent to josh and jade at 22:48 (it was a little boring for an hour)- Gaga just thanked god and the gays in her awards speech. Ledge.

Received from josh at 22:48- I love the commentary. You're better than brand.

Received from jade at 22:49- I love her. Genuine 13 year old I must stalk you and make you know who I am love!

Sent to josh and jade at 22:54- I just perfectly caught her performance on plus one again. It's so perfect i wanna fuck her. I'd be gutted to be pink and have to go on stage after gaga bled her fabulous self over it.

Received from jade at 22:56- Gaga just overshadowed everyone else that has/is going to step onto that stage. She's so outrageous. I love her. Pap wins best cinematography award too!

Sent to jade at 22:58- I hope her and Russell brand fuck. And tape it.

Received from josh at 22:58- Can we please go see her? I think I'd jizz myself to an early death

Sent to josh at 23:01- I'd throth so hard at the gash I'd be seriously dehydrated.

Received from josh at 22:04- Hahaha actually lets go we could rock seriously strong looks.

Sent to josh at 23:06- If she tours I'm there at every date at the front row with a banner saying i love your donkey dick.

I actually think me and jade might make it our hobby to stalk lady gaga. Even though she is really east london 07' I can't help but love her, and her 5 outfit changes. She really reminds me of my friend Kendall.. Who weirdly enough had a wheelchair in her bedroom, and would regularly go out wearing not alot else than pants and fake blood. Coincidence? I think not.

date rape

I feel violated, some fucker spiked my drink on Saturday and I am still vomming in my mouth. Luckily nothing too bad happened.. or so I'm told. I don't have any memory.. complete black out. If I ever find out what cunt spiked me I will remove their balls from their fucking body. I'm still really angry and also a little delirious.. first swine flu then this.. my body will soon just give up on me and I will cease to exist. I also was sick on 3 of my friends.. classy. I'm guessing everyone saw my pants too when i was apparently passed out in a shop doorway. If I happened to see you on Saturday night it certainly wasn't me speaking to you, my body was possessed. I just count myself lucky that the only thing damaged is my dignity. I feel mortified.

Who remembers when east enders used to be pure epic?

We spent the whole of saturday night drunkenly reinacting this at gay pride in leister. There were a few years in my life where I loosely based my fashion sense on Kat Slater.. Jesse Wallace is an absolute icon.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgUf9hlTnnU

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